It's Friday.

I rejoice that I have today to do lesson prep. And my hair. But there won't be much house cleaning today. I have to study while they are away. I study way more than my students do. I am slow.

I am depressed today. Poor sleep, and the diet soda thing. I am very depressed about the diet soda thing. Can I not have any psychological dependencies? Am I going to have to start exercising, too? This is hard to think of when you have never been a regular exerciser. I am already on a diet. again. and now, no diet soda and exercise are the prescription. I know I shouldn't resist, but, like I said, I am depressed.

Here are some dustball updates:

Sometimes I have sad dreams. Often they involve a beach with a terminus. Either the land ends or there is a wall or barrier of some kind. Last nights dream the beach ended in a wall. It was a short beach and there were shadows on most of it. I wanted to go and lie on the beach, but everyone was leaving. I was alone and it looked like a storm was coming.

Last week I dreamed I was in a high rise hotel with David and there were high stormy winds outside. So high that the hotel began to sway. I had to get out, and as I was trying to, the hotel began to retract underground. That was a bad dream that became a good dream.

I sometimes dream about my ex-boyfriend. It is always sad. I don't do anything to invite these dreams, my daytime thoughts are never there. But, in spite of years of happiness with my family, the dreams come again. I must have been traumatized.

Once I dreamed that I was going down a long beach looking for my children, a little worried. It was a gorgeous beach that went on for miles down south Florida-ish. It was a thin strip of land that kind of spiraled out toward the Atlantic with breaks that you had to walk across through the water. It had a road and some few shops and palms down the middle. Always, when I get to the end, there is a wall of rocks or some impediment. And there is always a storm coming.

This entry took 20 min. I could have a clean shower by now. But I feel better.